Why Is it Important for Believers to Marry Believers?


When it comes to whom we marry, it’s about choosing God’s way over our own way. It’s about submitting in obedience to God’s will over our own will.

Yet many Christians think they are strong enough and smart enough to enjoy dating non-Christians, believing salvation will come in time but if not, they can just walk away from the relationships. In doing so they don’t take into consideration the emotional, physical, and even spiritual ties they are creating with them.

Unfortunately failing to set their dating standards according to God’s Word will most likely lead them astray. Self-determined standards become a trap created by disobedience to God’s Word.

Proverbs 29:6 warns about being trapped by our own sin. It’s not wise to underestimate how skilled the enemy is at spotting weaknesses in us, like not guarding an attraction to unbelievers. When he does, he plots to tempt us with our own sinful allures toward disobedience.

As Ephesians 2:2 explains, the enemy is leading the ways of the world and is the spirit who is at work in those who are disobedient to God.

Sadly dating non-Christians has led many believing men and women to marry in disobedience to God’s Word, influencing the course and direction of the rest of their lives.

Still, God calls Christians to resist dating non-Christians, to choose His righteousness over disobedience. Below are five ways to help believers resist.

5 Ways to Resist Dating Unbelievers

1. Ask God to help you resist. First of all, confess your weakness to God and ask for His help. 1 John 1:9 explains, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Psalm 54:4 also assures us, “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the One who sustains me.”

2. Let God’s word correct your mind and desires to line up with His truth. Read and study God’s word, let it shape and strengthen your beliefs and thinking.

Romans 12:2 urges, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

3. Examine where you’re spending your time and what you’ve been focusing your mind on. Colossians 3:2, urges us to “Set your minds on things above, not earthly things.”

If you’re spending time in places where you’re more tempted to becoming romantically involved with non-Christians, choose to make necessary changes to your routine.

4. Don’t set yourself up for temptation. If you already have a weakness towards unbelievers, don’t set yourself up to be tempted to become emotionally and physically involved with them.

James 4:7, explains what gives us the power to resist. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Knowing God doesn’t want anyone to perish (2 Peter 3:9), look for ways to connect the unbelieving guys or girls you meet with Christian groups and friends of the same-sex, giving them an opportunity to be led to Salvation in Jesus Christ.

5. Be honest with unbelievers. Let him or her know why you aren’t open to dating them. It’s okay to explain to them in a compassionate, kind, and gracious manner, letting them know they can have a loving relationship with God, too.

Romans 1:16, describes the stand we can take as Christians. “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God that brings Salvation to everyone who believes; first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/mictian

Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.



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