Sunday, January 23, 2022
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A minor league mascot’s Twitter takeover ended when a pickle confirmed his junk


It’s January. On the earth of baseball NOTHING is occurring of consequence within the minors. On a mind-mannered Wednesday afternoon the Portland Pickles, which I guarantee you is an actual group, determined to show over their Twitter account to their mascot — and it didn’t take lengthy earlier than issues went actually, actually, actually dangerous.

Warning: I’m about to indicate you a photograph of a pickle’s penis. I don’t even know if this can be a NSFW warning, as a result of I’ve no approach of understanding what your workplace coverage is because it pertains to mascot genitalia.

The Pickles turned their account over to “Dillon,” who’s their mascot — and truthfully, a very good identify for a pickle, however what’s NOT good is seeing his bizarre pickle junk. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than folks misplaced their marbles at seeing the pickle dick, so the group was compelled to situation a press release.

The unique image tagged Manscaped, the boys’s grooming model, main us to imagine this was all a sponsorship gone mistaken — however it’s nonetheless left me with a variety of mechanical questions. I’m main this in gently as a result of it’s your probability to bail now and get away from this, as a result of I must put my emotions on the web.

Okay warning over, let’s dive in.

If you happen to’re pickle and also you present your penis, then what’s a pickle’s penis? I imply, at finest it’s a pickle protuberance, which ought to most likely be evaluated by a pickle medical skilled to make sure this isn’t a cancerous tumor. If we assume that is certainly a pickle penis, what’s the aim of it? Does a pickle urinate brine? I do know that sounds gross, however it’s much better than imagining a pickle has kidneys able to producing dilute urea for the elimination of waste.

There’s simply no great way round any of this. You can say we’re in an actual … pickle.



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